Amazing Mae and Brian! This is a great poem. I liked when you wrote “Maybe it dies away, forgotten forever” and your first line conjured so many images in my mind. However you have used the poem and took the ideas from it. For example the poem goes
“Does it fester like a sore and then run” and yours went “Does it fester like an open wound and then run”
Next time try and drift away from the poem and use your own ideas. Apart from that it was GREAT!
Ruby
Amazing use of adjectives and the line that says ‘Does it melt like an icicle in the sun’ is really good but add a question mark on the ‘sugary sweet’bit but everything is else is great
Liban
This is the best poem. I have ever read.
Amazing Mae and Brian! This is a great poem. I liked when you wrote “Maybe it dies away, forgotten forever” and your first line conjured so many images in my mind. However you have used the poem and took the ideas from it. For example the poem goes
“Does it fester like a sore and then run” and yours went “Does it fester like an open wound and then run”
Next time try and drift away from the poem and use your own ideas. Apart from that it was GREAT!
Ruby
Amazing use of adjectives and the line that says ‘Does it melt like an icicle in the sun’ is really good but add a question mark on the ‘sugary sweet’bit but everything is else is great
Amazing Mae and Brian i love the bit when it says “Or fester like an open wound and then run”
I love this sentence in your poem ( does it melt like an icicle in the sun )