Wow! This is awesome. You have structured your points and even countered them! Your opening line doesn’t make sense with the rest of your argument considering August would learn more at school. Also ( I know this is pedantic but Beecher Prep should have a capital letters. When you say on the other hand you are normally proving that your countered point is wrong. It should be something like “It is widely believed…” or “Others believe that…”. Apart from these small things there is barely anything wrong with it! Next time maybe link your arguments.
Ruby
Wow, great points, your argument is really convincing there are a few things you could improve on, like by saying his parents could hire a tutor, you put down your argument a bit and there is a sentence that doesn’t make sense ‘ also, he will not be able to as many school trip or investigations.’ So you missed a few words out, always remember to check your work. Overall a really powerful argument.
Wow! This is awesome. You have structured your points and even countered them! Your opening line doesn’t make sense with the rest of your argument considering August would learn more at school. Also ( I know this is pedantic but Beecher Prep should have a capital letters. When you say on the other hand you are normally proving that your countered point is wrong. It should be something like “It is widely believed…” or “Others believe that…”. Apart from these small things there is barely anything wrong with it! Next time maybe link your arguments.
Ruby
Wow, great points, your argument is really convincing there are a few things you could improve on, like by saying his parents could hire a tutor, you put down your argument a bit and there is a sentence that doesn’t make sense ‘ also, he will not be able to as many school trip or investigations.’ So you missed a few words out, always remember to check your work. Overall a really powerful argument.