This is an amazing piece of writing and it has definitely got me hooked. However, I think that you could have started the second sentence with something else than I. Overall, it is a gripping read and I hope you may write more in the future
By Charnae
I really like how you have used adjectives like ‘a teardrop falls from my eye like a single raindrop escaping a drainpipe’ , However I think you could improve to make your full stops in to comers but too finish I loved how you’ve bought us into the character 🙂
I like your blog because of the way you have written it, like the interesting adjectives. What you could improve on is some interesting starting phrases.
Well done! I really like the way you have written about real life and made people realise how sad it was when those things happen. However I think that you could add a few time openings. I also like the way you have used an interesting simile.
By Lia
This is an amazing piece of writing and it has definitely got me hooked. However, I think that you could have started the second sentence with something else than I. Overall, it is a gripping read and I hope you may write more in the future
By Charnae
I love the way you described how the girl felt , and I love the idea of the kinder transport. Nothing bad.
BY Wasseem
what I liked about your story is everything it is perfect Eva and Yasmine I love no wonder miss khanum chose it is really
the best story.
I really like how you have used adjectives like ‘a teardrop falls from my eye like a single raindrop escaping a drainpipe’ , However I think you could improve to make your full stops in to comers but too finish I loved how you’ve bought us into the character 🙂
Well done, I like the simile you used in your writing, however I think you should use more sentence openers, overall very good piece of writing
I like your blog because of the way you have written it, like the interesting adjectives. What you could improve on is some interesting starting phrases.
Leila
Well done! I really like the way you have written about real life and made people realise how sad it was when those things happen. However I think that you could add a few time openings. I also like the way you have used an interesting simile.
By Lia
Well done Eva and Yasmine i really liked your work it i really want to read on.
By Leah
well done Eva and Yasmine you really inspired me with your piece. you could in prove is the size of your writing.:)