I really like that piece of work although there are a few mistakes I liked that you two worked as a team and that you were being imaginative
From Leah’s mum xxx
Wow! This is a great piece of writing, I love how it includes detail. It would of been great if you had used more adjectives, it would of made it even better!
However, I do like how it was about something creative and original.
By Eva
Great work! It sounds really exciting and I would want to go to Disney land as well. A few things you could improve on is trying to punctuate your paragraph a bit more. I like your creative ideas.
very good I liked it when everybody wanted to go on the big rides .
but why did the boys and girls have to split up.
Other then that it was pretty good
This sounds like an exciting story and you can see that you’ve tried hard. Though, I think that you could’ve used we less. I still personally think that this story is fantastic and I especially like it when you describe what the characters bought at Disney Land
By Charnae
I like your story and it inspires me a lot. Try to make sence in your writing, also It makes me want to go do Disneyland. Try to add more adjectives in writing. A really good story great teamwork.
I really like that piece of work although there are a few mistakes I liked that you two worked as a team and that you were being imaginative
From Leah’s mum xxx
Wow! This is a great piece of writing, I love how it includes detail. It would of been great if you had used more adjectives, it would of made it even better!
However, I do like how it was about something creative and original.
By Eva
Great work! It sounds really exciting and I would want to go to Disney land as well. A few things you could improve on is trying to punctuate your paragraph a bit more. I like your creative ideas.
By Anna-Maria
I really like your blog. What you could improve on is putting more interesting adjectives in. However, I like the subject so smiley face from me.
very good I liked it when everybody wanted to go on the big rides .
but why did the boys and girls have to split up.
Other then that it was pretty good
This sounds like an exciting story and you can see that you’ve tried hard. Though, I think that you could’ve used we less. I still personally think that this story is fantastic and I especially like it when you describe what the characters bought at Disney Land
By Charnae
You messed up in one of your sentence. I like it because part of it is what people would actualy do in real life.
BY WASSEEM
I like your story and it inspires me a lot. Try to make sence in your writing, also It makes me want to go do Disneyland. Try to add more adjectives in writing. A really good story great teamwork.