Well done boys, for including real life situations. One thing you could improve on would be to check your punctuation. However, I did enjoy the part where you and your friends hid behind the basketball pitch but still got caught.
Try consentarate on your puntuion abit, but I like the bit when the boy and his friends where hiding behind the basketball pitch, I can imagine it as Mahmud and Abdullah them self.
Mahmud I really like your story what I like about your story is that when you and your friend mist lunch trying to be a bad man what you need to improve is look back through your work it does not make sense.
I like your sense of humour and the mixture of real life stories. You could improve if you started checking your spelling. Anyway it was a great made up story and I really liked it.
🙂 That was amazing! I like the way the story went and my favorite part personally is when they got in trouble because they hid behind the basketball pitch. However you can make it even better by adding a bit more detail to it 🙂
By Alanis
Well done Mahmud and Abdullah!!!That was a great story. I think you have checked it over after you had finished because
you made a few mistakes. But apart from that it was very good. .
This is a great post! I love how it includes humor.
You could of added more adjectives, though.
However, I also liked how it included realistic scenarios.
By Eva
Well done boys, for including real life situations. One thing you could improve on would be to check your punctuation. However, I did enjoy the part where you and your friends hid behind the basketball pitch but still got caught.
By Orion class
Try consentarate on your puntuion abit, but I like the bit when the boy and his friends where hiding behind the basketball pitch, I can imagine it as Mahmud and Abdullah them self.
Well done Mahmud and abdullah you did really well. but you could improve on your punctuation. but other wise you did great
by Freddie
Mahmud I really like your story what I like about your story is that when you and your friend mist lunch trying to be a bad man what you need to improve is look back through your work it does not make sense.
I like your sense of humour and the mixture of real life stories. You could improve if you started checking your spelling. Anyway it was a great made up story and I really liked it.
By Anna-Maria
🙂 That was amazing! I like the way the story went and my favorite part personally is when they got in trouble because they hid behind the basketball pitch. However you can make it even better by adding a bit more detail to it 🙂
By Alanis
Well done Mahmud and Abdullah!!!That was a great story. I think you have checked it over after you had finished because
you made a few mistakes. But apart from that it was very good. .
This is a great post! I love how it includes humor.
You could of added more adjectives, though.
However, I also liked how it included realistic scenarios.
By Eva