Well done, you have thought carefully about how Leonard felt towards Alex. I really like your use of italics to create greater emphasis in your writing. Could you have described what Leonards face looked like after he had been punch in more detail? What other adjectives could you have used?
Mae, this is an amazing piece of writing. You have captured Leonard’s perspective very well. However it does jump around and it’s quiet chunky. Try to stick to one point at a time.
Ruby
Well done, you have thought carefully about how Leonard felt towards Alex. I really like your use of italics to create greater emphasis in your writing. Could you have described what Leonards face looked like after he had been punch in more detail? What other adjectives could you have used?
That was an amazing piece of work, I loved how you recapped Leonards past. Though next time I wish you described Alex more.
Mae, this is an amazing piece of writing. You have captured Leonard’s perspective very well. However it does jump around and it’s quiet chunky. Try to stick to one point at a time.
Ruby