Good diary entry, I like your use of capital letters to highlight how angry Leonard was at Alex but try not to overuse these. You need to re read your writing as you go along to make sure you are structuring your sentences correctly and so that they make sense. Your sentence beginning with ‘for 6 years’ is very long and doesn’t make sense. Can you edit this?
Great, Antonia! You really emphasised Leonards anger at Alex and Grandad, telling us why he wanted revenge ( which a lot of people forgot to do). We thought that you could find some other words for Bosnia Boy and Alex, which you used quite a lot of.But overall we really liked it!
Good diary entry, I like your use of capital letters to highlight how angry Leonard was at Alex but try not to overuse these. You need to re read your writing as you go along to make sure you are structuring your sentences correctly and so that they make sense. Your sentence beginning with ‘for 6 years’ is very long and doesn’t make sense. Can you edit this?
Sorry sir I didn’t realise how much caps I used and I didn’t realise that bit didn’t make sense.
Great, Antonia! You really emphasised Leonards anger at Alex and Grandad, telling us why he wanted revenge ( which a lot of people forgot to do). We thought that you could find some other words for Bosnia Boy and Alex, which you used quite a lot of.But overall we really liked it!
Great! I like the way you used capital letters to show how angry Leonard is. Some of your sentences are a bit long maybe you could shorten it.