You have really showed how the boy felt without telling it.
The description of the atmosphere is scary and mysterious,
although the two lines ‘A shadow appeared’ and ‘Behind a towering tree’ should be one line, and your name shouldn’t be on the same line.
Great work Laqui,
Try not to use commas on every single sentence.
This really scared us,
a very great use of suspense.
Vincent and Sumayyah
You have really showed how the boy felt without telling it.
The description of the atmosphere is scary and mysterious,
although the two lines ‘A shadow appeared’ and ‘Behind a towering tree’ should be one line, and your name shouldn’t be on the same line.