The Red River by Akif

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4 Responses to The Red River by Akif

  1. mythic Rose 110 says:

    It’s quick, it’s snappy and makes you really send the shiver down your spine.
    Only on ‘branches hang’ you used the incorrect term and I think you need a few comers.

  2. itsthefinalcountdown245 says:

    Good use of short sentences it’s quick and builds up suspense can use comers to create more suspense, try not to use ,Bang, more than once and branches hang doesn’t make sense there.

  3. odona says:

    Good use of short sentences so that It builds up suspense so that it keeps the reader guesting. You could use similes and metaphors to show the person how it feels E.G. my heart was pounding out of body suddenly there was a bang. Make sure next time when you blog with suspense.

    From Achie

  4. sumayyah says:

    Goosebumps really appeared on me.
    This poem was really good.
    Just a tip.
    Use more commas.

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