Great use of elipses in the right place. I saw alot of ‘I’ in the piece. You could use adverbials like slowly, cousiously and suddenly. Its a very good piece though.
Amazing use of ellipsis! Great description. 🙂
Next time look at your punctuation. Also I don’t think you would scream if there was a knock on the door
Great work Tamzin.You used an ellipsis well to grab the readers attention and keep them guessing. You could use a simile to add more description. For example my heart was beating like a drum. Try to use different openers instead of I. You could use adverbial openers for example: slowly, suddenly, finally
Great use of ellipsis Tamzin,
You really scared us with your suspense,
although the sentence ‘it grabbed at me’ doesn’t make sense.
Vincent and Sumayyah
Great use of elipses in the right place. I saw alot of ‘I’ in the piece. You could use adverbials like slowly, cousiously and suddenly. Its a very good piece though.
Amazing use of ellipsis! Great description. 🙂
Next time look at your punctuation. Also I don’t think you would scream if there was a knock on the door
Great work Tamzin.You used an ellipsis well to grab the readers attention and keep them guessing. You could use a simile to add more description. For example my heart was beating like a drum. Try to use different openers instead of I. You could use adverbial openers for example: slowly, suddenly, finally
Well done Tamzin.
It grabbed at me doesn’t make sense at all