Great suspense Maste,
although you need to put in your commas in the right places,
and read over your sentences because some of the sentences have broke and don’t make sense.
Maste you did very well you built up suspense and it left the reader thinking about the story. You should watch out with your commas though. Some of the sentences don’t make sense.
Great suspense Maste,
although you need to put in your commas in the right places,
and read over your sentences because some of the sentences have broke and don’t make sense.
Vincent and Sumayyah
Make sure you brake the lines at the right places,
Great use of suspense however it doesn’t have much rhythm,
Remember to check it over twice,
Finn and Ronnie
Maste you did very well you built up suspense and it left the reader thinking about the story. You should watch out with your commas though. Some of the sentences don’t make sense.