The Ring

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4 Responses to The Ring

  1. Melody 4 says:

    Good suspense and rhymes! Remember to check your last line it doesn’t make sense

  2. Ronnie_ says:

    Well done with the breakings of the line.
    But don’t rhyme it because it loses the suspense.

  3. harus says:

    In a suspense poem we don’t use a lot of rhyming words. You don’t need to say ‘I heard a CRASH’ I screamed!!! You could say ‘CRASH!’ Then next line ‘I screamed, Agghhhh!!

  4. Cheekymonkey10 says:

    There is not really any suspense in there. I think you should add more.

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