‘My hand are shivering’ – Should be ‘ My hands are shivering or My hand is shivering’ depending on what you are trying to show. Make sure you check over your work.
That would of been perfect if you had done short sentences
For Example I ran. someone screamed. I was terrified.
It is good that you put ellipsis into it once.
Good try Alex From Tamzin
“My hand are shivering.” Dose not make sense and i don’t think it belongs there,you used the ellipsis in the right place which really gave your work an edge, do not give to much away other than that well done.
Your first sentence needs a lot of editing. I like the way you said, ‘I jumped like a tiger.’ Some sentences are too long. You need to shorten them. A lot of full stops are missing. Nice way of using the ellipses at the end. Other than that, this writing is a good piece for tension.
The first four words of your starting sentence didn’t make sense. I got really confused when you said “I heard footsteps louder, louder closer, closer to the handle stared to run. I think you should recheck your work because most of your work does not make since.
‘My hand are shivering’ – Should be ‘ My hands are shivering or My hand is shivering’ depending on what you are trying to show. Make sure you check over your work.
on a scale of 1 to 10 I would rate that a 10 it was a bit funny but it was excellent.
Check back your work next time. Other than that I adore your suspense because it shows you got the meaning of how to describe a setting.
That would of been perfect if you had done short sentences
For Example I ran. someone screamed. I was terrified.
It is good that you put ellipsis into it once.
Good try Alex From Tamzin
Its very good but to make it better you could add short impact-full sentences and remember to check your work.
hands not hand. Too much of a long scentence ,” under one what” great describing though nice adjectives.
Great work Alex, but you could add more full stops and make your sentences shorter. Apart from that it was really good.
“My hand are shivering.” Dose not make sense and i don’t think it belongs there,you used the ellipsis in the right place which really gave your work an edge, do not give to much away other than that well done.
Your first sentence needs a lot of editing. I like the way you said, ‘I jumped like a tiger.’ Some sentences are too long. You need to shorten them. A lot of full stops are missing. Nice way of using the ellipses at the end. Other than that, this writing is a good piece for tension.
The first four words of your starting sentence didn’t make sense. I got really confused when you said “I heard footsteps louder, louder closer, closer to the handle stared to run. I think you should recheck your work because most of your work does not make since.
Amazing work but to make it excellent you have to use more powerful sentences.