This is brilliant Mariel watch out for them capital letters once again this was fantastic
This is really great Mariel. But the thing I think you need to improve on putting capital letters before you speech. But apart from that it is really fun to read!
Mariel yours is cool but i cant see your capital letters but its cool
i love your tittle Mariel that,s why i read it Maybe you can improve by making it flow a bit more but i really enjoyed reading it Well done By Indiya
Great job Mariel love your story but your putting too much speech marks which is great but your not putting full stops but well done.
I love it Mariel its so good but maybe you can make it flow by Samara
I really like it it was very interesting
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This is brilliant Mariel watch out for them capital letters once again this was fantastic
This is really great Mariel. But the thing I think you need to improve on putting capital letters before you speech. But apart from that it is really fun to read!
Mariel yours is cool but i cant see your capital letters but its cool
i love your tittle Mariel that,s why i read it Maybe you can improve by making it flow a bit more but i really enjoyed reading it Well done By Indiya
Great job Mariel love your story but your putting too much speech marks which is great but your not putting full stops but well done.
I love it Mariel its so good but maybe you can make it flow by Samara
I really like it it was very interesting