Its was good I like the bit “Does it freeze in time” but I think that you should have checked over it because you have missed out a few words.
Mae and Brian
Hello there Charlie and Jack. Some bits doesn’t make sense.(” Does it freeze in time
Like a daisy in the winter?”)To be honest daisies don’t freeze in winter they die. Maybe you can say,” Does it freeze in time like a worn out memory?” Maybe read it through again and check if it made sense.We really like “Or does it form a skin-
Like custard from yesterday’s dinner? ”
Great poem but try to add the ending next time
Its was good I like the bit “Does it freeze in time” but I think that you should have checked over it because you have missed out a few words.
Mae and Brian
I really like it when you wrote ‘or does it rise in the air’ I might actually use that line but the poem is not in stanzas
Hello there Charlie and Jack. Some bits doesn’t make sense.(” Does it freeze in time
Like a daisy in the winter?”)To be honest daisies don’t freeze in winter they die. Maybe you can say,” Does it freeze in time like a worn out memory?” Maybe read it through again and check if it made sense.We really like “Or does it form a skin-
Like custard from yesterday’s dinner? ”
Alanis and Sophie