This is a very good poem . You could improve on your adjectives.But your similes are brilliant.
Liban
The bit. I liked was when you said. And then sink to the bottom like a mental key.
My favorite line is; Or tossed and turned like a boat at sea- And then sinks to the bottom like a metal key because I like how both you rhymed i think you both have upgraded your word to the fullest Well Done!
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This is a very good poem . You could improve on your adjectives.But your similes are brilliant.
Liban
The bit. I liked was when you said. And then sink to the bottom like a mental key.
My favorite line is; Or tossed and turned like a boat at sea-
And then sinks to the bottom like a metal key
because I like how both you rhymed
i think you both have upgraded your word to the fullest
Well Done!