Some great suspense you built up in this piece. I enjoyed your powerful similes and metaphor, which brought this piece to life for me. However, you used the past tense for incorrectly for ‘whispered’ and the moving text makes it hard on the eyes. You need to use a range of openers, such as adverbials like momentarily, instantly, cautiously…
Some great suspense you built up in this piece. I enjoyed your powerful similes and metaphor, which brought this piece to life for me. However, you used the past tense for incorrectly for ‘whispered’ and the moving text makes it hard on the eyes. You need to use a range of openers, such as adverbials like momentarily, instantly, cautiously…