When you wrote Parent you forgot the ‘s’ and you need more full stops and commas. And when you wrote ‘I could speak again also move’ it dosnt make sense
The line I could speak also move doesn’t really make sense. Also when you wrote parent you forgot the s and you were missing some commas but its good though.
This don’t make sense and there are a few spelling mistakes and errors in places like:
Parents needs an ‘s’ and holed is meant to be held and also the part where you say I froze and I was in the middle of the sea don’t make sense!!!!!!!!!
Your story Is awesome! Although It doesn’t make sense, Its still great. I especially enjoy the cliff hanger at the end. Next time put some full stops and try and use different sentence starters. Still though 🙂 🙂 🙂
When you wrote Parent you forgot the ‘s’ and you need more full stops and commas. And when you wrote ‘I could speak again also move’ it dosnt make sense
This don’t make that sense but its really good.
It don’t make any sense 🙁
The line I could speak also move doesn’t really make sense. Also when you wrote parent you forgot the s and you were missing some commas but its good though.
I like your pink writing because your one is very good from Niyah
Doesn’t make much sense. It could be a better story with better description and more punctuation.
It was a great story…… I think. It didn’t make much sense so I didn’t understand it.
This don’t make sense and there are a few spelling mistakes and errors in places like:
Parents needs an ‘s’ and holed is meant to be held and also the part where you say I froze and I was in the middle of the sea don’t make sense!!!!!!!!!
This doesn’t make sense but you tried and its good. Great work. 🙂
This do not make sense but in your mind it will be good but just explain in your mind into the paper when you write ok.
You should read it to yourself. Great work:)
IT is ok there is a couple of errors but it’s good
Its a good story but there are a few mistakes but overall very good:)
xX EllieMayXx
Your story Is awesome! Although It doesn’t make sense, Its still great. I especially enjoy the cliff hanger at the end. Next time put some full stops and try and use different sentence starters. Still though 🙂 🙂 🙂
I think IT MAKES A BIT SENCE AND I LIKE THE Cliff HANGER but maybe a bit more full stops