Wow! I like the plot a lot. No-one else has had this idea. Maybe you could not use ‘I’ as much. Other than that, I loved it!
Its really good it was like I was in there I loved it good work 🙂
Cool! You ended on a cliff-hanger. I really want to know what happens next! Maybe you could do a sequel…
I really like this idea of story as no one else has had an idea like this :):):):):):):)
GREAT
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Wow! I like the plot a lot. No-one else has had this idea. Maybe you could not use ‘I’ as much. Other than that, I loved it!
Its really good it was like I was in there I loved it good work 🙂
Cool! You ended on a cliff-hanger. I really want to know what happens next! Maybe you could do a sequel…
I really like this idea of story as no one else has had an idea like this :):):):):):):)
GREAT