its really interesting but a bit to much commas
Good but too many I’s and not enough commas. But it was a good story overall.
I think this is great and you added a lot of detail but a bit too many I’s. Also where is the secret cellar? I think that he and Vincent should find the cellar
I really like this story but this story has too many I’s and also I like the way you started off with you dreaming :):):)
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its really interesting but a bit to much commas
Good but too many I’s and not enough commas. But it was a good story overall.
I think this is great and you added a lot of detail but a bit too many I’s. Also where is the secret cellar? I think that he and Vincent should find the cellar
I really like this story but this story has too many I’s and also I like the way you started off with you dreaming :):):)