Hamza we arrived at the train station

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9 Responses to Hamza we arrived at the train station

  1. willl says:

    Well done! I like the way you made me picture the scene in my mind and I don’t think there is nothing you could improve on. Do you think you will be a writer when you grow up?

  2. Lise xx says:

    This Was Really good 🙂 I Liked the Similes you chose and the description

  3. haywb says:

    I really like the atmosphere BUT I think you could improve by talking about the children around him.

  4. bolas says:

    I almost can feel how the boy feels.

  5. Niyah says:

    That is very good hamza because your rainbow writing and this the best work From Niyah

  6. dervi says:

    I really love the sentence you ended with ‘At this point, isolation had gotten the better of me.’ 🙂

  7. Olive ♥♥♥ says:

    Its got a lot of full stops.

  8. thomd says:

    Hamza it’s really good I like the part when he say’s ” she always would be in my heart.”

  9. Alice says:

    That was very good! I liked how the child makes a heart on the window towards the end. it was good that you included thoughts and feelings. I would feel very sad if I were he. maybe you could improve by describing the other children more.
    i liked your use of vocabulary. 🙂

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