Well done Naomi! I could picture myself in that girl’s shoes. maybe next time don’t put caps in the middle of a sentence. How did you put your self in the child’s shoes and would you like to be an Arthur?
from charlie
welldone it was great ! you used a nice variety of punctuation with lots of great sentences including similes. you could of used shorter and longer sentences to make it more interesting you had nice vocabulary. I liked the last line alot but you could of made it more detailed. I wonder what it would be like if that happened to us today, it would be dreadful it sounded like you actually where in the war being evacuated the way you described it 🙂 it was great !!!!
Well done Naomi! I could picture myself in that girl’s shoes. maybe next time don’t put caps in the middle of a sentence. How did you put your self in the child’s shoes and would you like to be an Arthur?
from charlie
Riley Jake “good punctuation I like de ending and a lot of stuff about u like your face and like pale face” by Jake
I liked the question at the end.
i like the metaphor that you’ve used 🙂 i could really feel like i was there as i read i’d like to know what would happen next? 🙂
welldone it was great ! you used a nice variety of punctuation with lots of great sentences including similes. you could of used shorter and longer sentences to make it more interesting you had nice vocabulary. I liked the last line alot but you could of made it more detailed. I wonder what it would be like if that happened to us today, it would be dreadful it sounded like you actually where in the war being evacuated the way you described it 🙂 it was great !!!!
welldone!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙂