Ellie-May, I love your writing. Its absolutely descriptive and creative although there some downsides firstly Its ALWAYS they went here they went there and secondly read this Lola Rose and Carter were play hide and seek. Does this make any sense? thirdly When they got into the living room it was there. What was there? Although it was really good. 🙂 🙂 🙂
Good use of adjectives Ellie ♥ xx
This isn’t very exiting because all that happens is a clown scares some children.
It is very tense and scary maybe you should make them look for the
clown for longer and more sounds
Read your work back to your self next time
Ellie-May, I love your writing. Its absolutely descriptive and creative although there some downsides firstly Its ALWAYS they went here they went there and secondly read this Lola Rose and Carter were play hide and seek. Does this make any sense? thirdly When they got into the living room it was there. What was there? Although it was really good. 🙂 🙂 🙂
that’s scary the clown part was funny
Ellie
You have a very interesting story .I think you rushed the clown. I think the story can have some more depth in it .Amazing !!!!!!!!!!!
It is a nice story but you said it was a clown far to early, maybe next time say it later xoxoxoxoxo ♥♥♥