the nightmare by jasmine and kirin

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3 Responses to the nightmare by jasmine and kirin

  1. meadm says:

    That was really good we like the suspense and how it turned out to be a dream the only thing is that the font was slightly hard to read but apart from that it is great!

  2. greec says:

    I like your piece of writing especially your
    verbs.
    Well done. 🙂

  3. collr says:

    Well done Jasmine and Kirin! This is a really good piece, I love your ending. The last three sentences are AMAZING!! Maybe next time think of more adjectives as you wrote “The wind helps me come closer to the rusty old boats. Suddenly the wind becomes stronger and pulls me closer to the rusty old boats.” Apart from that great story!
    Ruby

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