the crazy trip to the shop by jAKE

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7 Responses to the crazy trip to the shop by jAKE

  1. callum says:

    thats a great story and so simple but you talked about the boy too much.

  2. sarid says:

    I really like this such a creative story but you have a few errors you have made:

    1= You used as so much
    2= You have spelling mistakes
    3= Some bits don’t make sense

    But otherwise good!!!!

  3. clarf045.206 says:

    Good! However a lot of it doesn’t make sense other than that it made me laugh!

  4. aliz says:

    You forgot lots of capital letter and full stops but still good.

  5. harpr says:

    I got quite confused but it was kl

  6. OllyW says:

    Great Story Jake! It was Really funny how a little boy was randomly walking along with a gun. And how he shot because he could see your tongue tingle. BRILLIANT apart from the few missing caps and full stops. 😀

  7. lincd says:

    accidental space in the middle of a word but good

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