hello Zak.
I love your story it sounds interesting to read.
when you finish im sure it will be a great story.
I wish you just could have used punctuation and then it will be perfect
Great story Zak. It leaves you on a real cliffhanger. Does he escape the jungle and save the lion or not? You could put a twist in the story and make evil win for once.Also you could put a bit more description of the setting in it. Well done,
Finn
Well done zak I liked what you did with the boy getting kidnaped and it just make it sense abit ok.
Do you like what you have written.
hello Zak.
I love your story it sounds interesting to read.
when you finish im sure it will be a great story.
I wish you just could have used punctuation and then it will be perfect
alanis
Great story Zak. It leaves you on a real cliffhanger. Does he escape the jungle and save the lion or not? You could put a twist in the story and make evil win for once.Also you could put a bit more description of the setting in it. Well done,
Finn