Great work Naomi! I especially like how you wrote ‘It was a normal day, people walking and smiling, and only two people alive’. But as you can see you have missed out a comma after the word ‘day’, also I would loved how you used a cliff hanger at the end.
By Lillian
I liked how you ended with a cliff hanger but next time put your speech marks behind your full stops.
Great Naomi, you’ve used great adjectives and try to put more full stops.
WOW!! I really liked that piece of writing, it was amazing! Also I loved how you ended with a cliff hanger. I’d love to find out what happened next.
After the cliff hanger what is going to happen next? will Riley and Billy kill the zombies? Or will riley and billy turn into zombies?
Great work Naomi! I especially like how you wrote ‘It was a normal day, people walking and smiling, and only two people alive’. But as you can see you have missed out a comma after the word ‘day’, also I would loved how you used a cliff hanger at the end.
By Lillian