You didn’t use …..but when the leaves rustled……. and you also missed a couple of capitol letters and you missed use some words, however otherwise it was good!
Ahmed your story is good but there are some downsides starting with this sentence so he went to bed somebody was in his bed a man. It doesn’t make sense, and where is the leaves have rustled. How do we know if his Dad is here? Make your mind up!! But if you overlook these mistakes you’ll find a good story writer. 🙂 🙂
good story
Well done but your forgetting full stops(.) but you have done a good job.
You didn’t use …..but when the leaves rustled……. and you also missed a couple of capitol letters and you missed use some words, however otherwise it was good!
Finn
Good Job I Think you misspelled ‘hurt’ with ‘heart’
Ahmed your story is good but there are some downsides starting with this sentence so he went to bed somebody was in his bed a man. It doesn’t make sense, and where is the leaves have rustled. How do we know if his Dad is here? Make your mind up!! But if you overlook these mistakes you’ll find a good story writer. 🙂 🙂
I don’t get I am going to heart you but no full stop but really good 🙂
AHMED CHECK YOUR SPELLING AND PUNCTUATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but otherwise it was good
nice story
Interesting, but you forgot your punctuation but good story.