Jack And The Tunnel

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3 Responses to Jack And The Tunnel

  1. knoxe says:

    I liked the language you used- particularly the simile ‘like a python strangling its prey’. Though the tenses seemed a bit mixed up- past & present were both used. But it was really funny and I liked it a lot.

  2. barrs says:

    very nice

  3. howsh says:

    I love the descriptive words you use to describe how much they hate each other.
    Try not to use The at the start of a paragraph.
    I love how much you use inverted commas.

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